Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Free Lunch

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

I know this, and yet I have to learn it over, and over, and over again.

I have been missing in action from this blog for five months. I haven’t posted a thing. And, beyond that, I haven’t cooked a thing. I have been violating every single one of my food rules. And I have gained more than 30 pounds.


Because I’m pregnant! My third child is due to arrive in late January.

So I have a good excuse.

I spent the first two of the last five months surviving on little more than sips of water and saltine crackers, as morning sickness took me down for the count.

Just as the best of the summer veggies started arriving from my CSA, I stopped being able to eat them (or smell them, or look at them, or touch them, or even hear about them, for that matter). I couldn’t even read my own blog, let alone write for it. I vaguely recall potatoes, basil, tomatoes, and a whole lot of jalapeƱo peppers making their way through my kitchen, but they repulsed me at the time, and I kept my distance.

Then, in August, as I started to get my appetite back, I found that I craved things like chocolate and soda. I indulged those cravings -- perhaps more than I should have -- and struggled to do anything more strenuous cooking-wise than getting take out, as my energy levels were as low as could be.

My husband did his best during these times to make the most of the veggies we received from our CSA. He made several lovely batches of mashed potatoes with purple basil, added fresh green beans to many of his curries, and tried to work through copious quantities of peppers by making big batches of chili. I know he made and ate a lot of pickles, and that he grilled up some zucchini and some squash when we had company. But I know it wasn’t enough. I know that many of our beautiful veggies wilted, and then rotted, while I was busy chowing down on fried chicken and French fries.

But there is no such thing as a free lunch – not even when you’re pregnant. You can’t eat whatever you want, whenever you want, and expect there to be no consequences.

At my last doctor’s appointment, I learned that I might have gestational diabetes. I haven’t yet had the test to confirm it, but I already received the message loud and clear: It’s time to get a handle on my diet again.

And so, despite the challenges of having two very young children, a stressful job, a long commute, and an exhausted pregnant body, I intend to get back to cooking and eating the way I know I should. I know that my food rules are good for me (and my baby) whether I have gestational diabetes or not.

So, here I am, picking myself up and dusting myself off after five months off the wagon. I’ll be looking to you, blog-o-sphere, to keep me on the wagon from here on out, eating my CSA veggies and following my food rules, especially after the baby comes and the hard work of losing the baby weight begins (for the third time).

Because, yes, I’ll be breastfeeding, and chasing after three kids under four, and getting back to work, and not having enough time in the day to think, let alone cook or eat, but there is no such thing as a free lunch, even then.

Unless someone wants to cook me one? :-)
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